So, we came back early. They did not run us out, however, and health had almost nothing to do with it. After reevaluating our situation, we decided it would be best to come back to Pucallpa so that José could renew his visa. It also seemed to be in the best interest of the work.
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That being said, this trip was hands down the hardest that I have yet taken. We told no stories, worked our hands raw (see picture), and still had excessive free time with nothing to do. We watched all of our friends drink themselves into a stupor during a festival that is popular in the jungle. I set a new personal record for making a fool of myself at other people's expense; though, by far the hardest part of the trip was the intense feelings of isolation. In spite of these difficulties, we did see the work advance, though slowly, and the Lord grew me more than ever before.
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In Cascada, after so many months visiting and working with the people there, they only recently have begun to realize that we are not like any of the other outsiders who have passed through and are starting to listen to us when we explain why. We told them many times before that our interests are to teach them the stories of the Bible in Asheninca so that they can know God and have an Asheninca church, but they did not listen. Now they have seen it with their own eyes. Mistrust and cultural stereotypes are the most difficult barriers between us and the people on this river. By working alongside them and letting them get to know us, we are slowly winning their confidence and, therefore, felt that the time has arrived to ask permission to enter once again. These advances encouraged us.
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All of the groups to which we had told stories, however, fell apart. The old man in Misión went to Atalaya for medical treatment, and the other two groups lost half their members to travel while the other half put us off week after week. We know that God works through a process and that "one sows and another reaps," so we did not worry. In this Jose and I were of the same mind. In just about everything else, though, we are so different that we only related to one another with much difficulty.
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With all of the things in life in which I find satisfaction taken away, and no one to relate to, I began to dispair. I have always found things that I really enjoy in each place that I have been. It is one of my keys to surviving in places far from home. This time, however, I found nothing and suffered. The last day, the Lord showed me why. I have always looked for my satisfaction and joy in whatever I could find: food, companionship, work, sports, or various forms of entertainment, but not in Him. In Him, I found peace, my purpose in life, and my source of guidance and wisdom, but not joy. I did not realize that fact until He stripped all of those insufficient sources of satisfaction away.
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I have been taught from a very early age to "rejoice in the Lord always" without really understanding how or why it is so important, so I ignored it. I wondered at how it would be possible to "rejoice in our sufferings," and always failed in my attempts to do so. Through these difficulties, however, the Lord taught me its importance, and began to teach me what it means to rejoice in Him. He said "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." If we truly rejoice in Him and He will never leave us, then our joy is never far away, nor out of reach.
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Many of you heard of our struggles, and committed to pray for us. I want you all to know that in spite of the difficulty, I knew you all were praying for me. I could see the effects in everything I said and did. I know my limits, and I passed them long ago. Words of encouragement and wisdom came out of my mouth that I cannot take credit for. Those of you who know me well, know that I say very little without having thought it out in advance, but on several occasions I gave voice to thoughts that had never before entered my head and then afterwards learned from them. Perhaps that is normal, but for me it is extraordinary.
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Please continue to pray for the Asheninca in Cascada, in Misión, and the other communities upriver. We knocked down a lot of barriers, but still have a long way to go. Also, thank God for the blessings He has provided for us through the people in Diamante Azul. They recieved us into their community and their homes and gave us everything we needed because we came in the name of the Lord. Pray that the Lord would bless them and open their eyes to see Him.
Sowing Seeds
--At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ… that I may make it clear.
Colossians 4:3-4
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